my dad died last year cousin and lifelong friend the year before three years spent loving someone who from the beginning did not care i have been in hospitals so much for others and for myself these things become routine but routine’s not the word bc you do not get used to them
coincidence: the admitting nurse has a son and his name is exactly the same as mine (first and last) and he was born one day before my calendar birthday (July 9th) can you believe it
in an emergency room at 4am ppl who read my blog should know these things also conveniently at 4am there is no one here to read them
he will be 11 in four weeks skipped a grade and is one of the five smartest in his class
an option only for when you’re lonely and plum out of options
when will it matter that i am constantly lonely myself, low on everyone’s totem pole?
what am i up to? how am i doing?
five months and still dying about the same person i was always dying about! more than three years wasted but time is nothing and i will probably always be sad about Brittany. shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? you’re the reason i’m uncomfortable leaving my room
"polyamory is awful and wrong because it allows people to pretend like they’re good at relationships when they are doing pretty much everything you should not do in a relationship: cheating, being selfish, putting your partner(s) at risk for sexually transmitted infections, not sacrificing a damn thing for the sake of your relationship(s), treating people interchangeably, treating kids like secondary shit when there are kids involved, and creating the stupidest possible set of excuses for your inability to commit or think about anyone but your own shitty self."